Accidental Casualty Survivor, Faith, marriage, Uncategorized

“We don’t see things as they are. We see things as we are. ~Anais Nin

I have no idea who Anais that quoted this title but it holds so much truth whoever they are!

Topic: Perception: Filters that can be deceivingIMG_3525

There are two sides to the story, there are facts, and thoughts and somewhere depending on our worldview there are perceptions. They can quickly become twisted and misinterpreted. I took this pic after reading some hurtful words, actually hurtful is low balling their true caliber they were low blow words. It happens!

Even people sharing the same life can have different perceptions of situations. I remember the first seven years of marriage very differently then my husband, but we shared space.

If you ask me I will tell you it was utter chaos. We were married young and despite loving people who meant well they knew what we would be up against.

Still finding ourselves…

Working with at-risk youth…

3 babies in under 4 years…

Financially strained…

So I will tell you it was hard, how I cried and struggled at times to see how we would ever make it. Glad I was so very wrong but my vision was jaded. I had suffered some postpartum depression. I was on a hormonal roller coaster between pregnancy and nursing. It.Was. Crazy.

If you ask Chris he would say it was great! Sunshine and roses, we were blessed with 3 babies in 4 years. We were poor but never went without. Our arguments discussions were passion filled and totally normal.

Want to hear a perception that haunts me? When I sat at that stop sign listening to Katy tell me about her volleyball game, my guard was down. I felt safe, nothing seemed urgent or pressed. Quiet. Peaceful.

From my left the approaching motorcyclist saw my car yielding at the stop sign. He, I am certain felt safe enjoying the evening ride shifting gears to climb that hill. He felt safe because from his view I was waiting at the stop sign. (Broken!)

But he wasn’t safe because I did not see him approaching up the hill. I did not hear him, I heard my daughter’s story.

I made myself drive up that hill many times after the accident. I wanted to see what he saw, I wanted to understand. I did not want the hill to have power over me. I wanted if I am being honest maybe for someone to pull out in front of me so I would know this was a dangerous intersection.

Perceptions go both ways and our worldview and how we have previously been hurt can alter or differ from other people we do life with. Both individuals are right in how they feel.

Ever talked with a teenager about why they are grounded, probably a very different view from the parent who took the phone away!

I once told a very close friend, and not just told but argued with him that I did not believe racism still existed. I have never been so wrong in my life! It would take years before the “kneeling protest” that took the blinders off for me. Invisible hate suddenly spewed everywhere. I was heart broken. I was wrong.

I love the cartoon where two people are facing a 6 or a 9 depending on their view. They stand toe to  toe arguing instead of leaning over and chuckling over the fact that they are both right.

So many are hurting or have been hurt and it’s hard to not become callous. Build up walls…

I don’t share to seek attention or pity, I gain nothing except maybe a friend along the way that shares my sorrow. I share with the purpose to educate and I will not apologize for the message that burns in me. It is not for you, I share for me and the one that created me!

XOXO ~Jenn

Galatians 5:13 New International Version (NIV)

Life by the Spirit

13 You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh[a; rather, serve one another humbly in love.